For better or worse. 

I, Kristen, take you, Jordan, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

A little over four years ago, I stood on a stage in a white lace dress, holding the hands of my now husband, and I said those words. And not to say I didn’t mean them, because I did, but it’s really hard to grasp the full weight of those words when you haven’t even really experienced life together yet. 

And I think that’s what makes those vows all the more meaningful… is when they aren’t just words. Those vows aren’t just part of the wedding ceremony. Marriage vows are a promise to each other. A promise to stand by each other no matter what life brings. 

On our wedding day, they were still just words. We hadn’t gotten to put them into practice yet. We hadn’t really had an opportunity to fulfill those vows. Being married has taught me that it’s a LOT easier to say those words than to actually live them. 

It’s been four years now… we’ve been through career changes, bug infestations (glad we moved out of that apartment complex), car troubles, moving to a new state and a new church. We went through an unexpected pregnancy, traumatic childbirth, and almost two years now of parenting. We’ve dealt with sickness, injuries, and mental/physical issues (postpartum was a real treat). We’ve dealt with extreme debt and basically living paycheck to paycheck since the day we got married. 

We never really fought until we were married. When we were dating, we still had separate lives and time away from each other. Being married, we had to learn to share everything together. The good and the bad. 

It’s easy to make promises when everything is happy and fun. Keeping those promises is a challenge when you’re angry, or fed up, or on your 465th night in a row of crappy sleep, or not sure how you’ll pay the bills next month. Keeping your vows when things are hard doesn’t happen on accident… it’s a daily choice. It means I don’t focus on my emotions in the moment, and I don’t put my happiness above all else. I made a commitment before God and I depend on God daily to help me honor that, because the fact is, it’s not always easy. There are days when it’s very difficult, but I will always choose to keep these vows, because I love this man and I am committed to him for the rest of our lives. He is worth it and our marriage is always worth it.