Sometimes, I look at you and can’t make sense of how much time has already passed… even though nothing seemed to really change day by day.
I see you now while I still see you then, and I’m starting to see who you are becoming.
The bigger you get, the more you start to pull away from me. And this is a good thing – it’s how this is supposed to be.
I feel constantly stuck between feeling so excited and proud to watch you grow, and wanting desperately (and selfishly) to pull you back and keep you small forever.
Motherhood fills my heart so tremendously and yet breaks it at the same time.
And I think you might feel it a little too.
I think you are starting to realize that growing up means pulling away, and it can be scary. You don’t want to leave me as much as I don’t want you to leave.
But please know that I won’t hold you back. I won’t push you out, either. And I’ll never, ever go anywhere, even when you do.
You’ll be a lot of different versions of yourself throughout your lifetime, and I hope I get to be part of it all. I promise to love and support the future you as much as I have always loved little you. I promise that I’ll always be your safe spot to land, your warm hug, and your home.
You are mine, but you are not ONLY mine.
You were created for a purpose, and it goes far beyond our happy little bubble here.
So while I wish I could hold onto you, I know that I need to eventually start letting you go. It won’t happen overnight (though it might feel that way). It will hurt – a lot. But I will be ok, and so will you.
And you’ll always be my baby, no matter how big you get or how far you go.
Kristen Stewart, Writer 