“Train up a child..”

I was walking to my car after church last Sunday and suddenly thought.. “I don’t want to raise Spencer to be a Christian. I want to raise him to follow Jesus.”

I’m sure to some people, these are one and the same. They should be, and sometimes they are. Full disclosure: many times I struggle to feel that way. 

I feel there is sometimes a difference between people who identify as Christians and people who identify as a follower of Jesus. It was very apparent to me growing up agnostic and seeing the example of my many churchgoing friends. It became evident in my own adult life as I started trying to navigate the world as a Christian. And more than anything else, becoming a parent and being responsible for raising a child has made me want to closely evaluate the way I live out my faith.

For the sake of this post, a Christian is someone who goes through the motions for the sake of feeling like and appearing to be a “good” person. They do the bare minimum… just enough to check off God on their very full to-do list. They identify as Christians because they go to church every week, or because someone in their family is a Christian, or because they were raised in a Christian home. Their Christianity doesn’t go far beyond keeping up appearances, staying in their comfort zone, and following the same routine every week. The Christians I am referring to are spiritual on Sunday mornings and then check Jesus at the church doors on their way out. The way they interact with the world outside the church walls doesn’t necessarily demonstrate a changed heart or an authentic faith. 

And if I’m being perfectly honest – more often than not, I’m scared that I default into this category. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life. It’s easy to let my focus shift from eternity to what’s here and now. It’s easy to let my emotions get in the way, and pass judgment on someone because they “deserve” it. It’s easy to fall into a routine and let days go by without being intentional. It’s easy to do what’s easy and comfortable. 

But a follower of Jesus does just that – follows Jesus. In every area of their life, every day. It’s not just something they say they believe – the evidence is there. It’s evident in a Jesus follower’s attitude, lifestyle, reactions, choices… they don’t have to convince people that they’re Christians because people can tell by the way they live. A Jesus follower is continually seeking to grow closer to God and their priority is being a faithful witness to the rest of the world. A Jesus follower has a faith that remains steady regardless of what life brings. It’s not easy to be a Jesus follower. It’s often not comfortable. It takes intention and sacrifice and humility. It takes a daily walk.

(I’m definitely not saying that Jesus followers are perfect – no one is. Jesus followers still mess up, make mistakes and experience doubt. God can still use imperfect and doubt-filled people.)

I’ve just been thinking a lot lately about the example we are setting for Spencer. How can we raise him to follow Jesus unless we demonstrate that consistently in our own lives? Why would he make having a relationship with God a priority if we don’t? We’re both pretty private about our faith; we’ve never been the type to shove our beliefs in people’s faces. We prefer to demonstrate our faith through the way we live… but is that going to be enough? It’s an intimidating thought. 

I don’t want to raise him to follow a bunch of rules just because, or go to church just because it’s expected. I don’t want him to grow up wanting to appear to be a “good” person. I want him to know WHY. Why do we believe the things we do? It’s not because someone is forcing us or because we feel like it’s expected of us. I want him to ask questions and to WANT to ask questions. I want him to see that this isn’t just something we do to feel good about ourselves. I want him to see us being authentic and consistent with our faith. 

Raising a child is such a huge responsibility. Ultimately, Jordan and I will have more of an influence on Spencer than the people at church or school. Those influences matter, but we will have the biggest chunk of his time and attention as he grows up. I hope and pray that we are consistently demonstrating a lifestyle that follows Jesus rather than one where we are only Christians when it’s convenient.