Same stuff, different day.

Most days, it seems like I do the same things over and over. And it almost feels pointless to do these things, because no one really notices. No one is applauding my work or promoting me… I’m not receiving any awards. Of course, I’m referring to the work that I do at my primary job, which is as a mother and wife.

A typical day. I wake up when Spencer wakes up, which is about 6 AM on a good day. We head downstairs and do the first of many diaper changes. Also the first of many clothing changes if he’s peed through the diaper, which is a 50/50 chance. He has a bottle of milk and wants to watch his cartoons. Within 15 minutes, he’s dragging his toys out and smacking me with books. Jordan gets up and gets ready for work, then comes down to eat breakfast and leave. Spencer usually stands in front of Jordan begging for bites of “see-see” (cereal). After Jordan leaves at 7:30, I usually cook Spencer a scrambled egg and cut up some fruit for his breakfast. I also load the dishwasher and clean off the counters… since we live in an apartment, we aren’t allowed to use the dishwasher or laundry earlier than 8 AM, so I kind of have to wait to start cleaning.

After he eats breakfast, I spend some time picking up food off the carpet and cleaning up his high chair. Spencer loves to toss his food off the tray. Most of the time I’ll take him out to the park or out for a walk before it gets too hot. If it’s raining, we just play inside. He’s not a child who will sit and watch TV, which is great, but also exhausting. He wants to play or read books or wrestle with us all day long. He has more energy than I can even dream of. Typically we have another diaper change after breakfast. He usually starts getting crabby mid-morning and on a good day, will go down for a nap with little resistance. On a not good day, he wanders around crying, yelling, and refusing to be consoled until he finally wears himself out enough for me to put him to sleep.

When he takes his nap, I seize the opportunity to pick up all his toys, start a load of laundry, fold whatever was in the dryer, answer my work messages and e-mails, do some work from home, and work on my eBay stuff (either shipping something or listing new items). He usually wakes up around lunchtime or a little after, so I make lunch for us and then it’s round 2 of dishes/cleaning the high chair. Spencer spends the next few hours destroying everything I have worked hard to organize/clean, because he’s a rambunctious little boy, of course. He’s like Stitch before he met Lilo. The boy is just hardwired for destruction and messes. He loves watching the vacuum so I vacuum once in the morning and once in the afternoon, and somehow the floor still always looks a hot mess.

We usually go out again to play somewhere or go for a walk, unless it’s too hot. Now that the pool is open, we go swimming a few times a week. Jordan comes home a little before 5 and then I start making dinner while he plays with Spencer. I try to knock something off my never-ending to-do list when Jordan is home… clean a bathroom, clean out the fridge, clean Spencer’s room. After dinner, we take Spencer to the park or downtown for a long walk to wear him out before bed. When we get home, he gets a bath and then start the bedtime routine. Sometimes he’s ready for bed right away, other nights he’s running around like a wild man until he finally crashes. Once he goes to bed, I try to pick up all the toys again.

I’ve seen a quote that trying to clean your house with a toddler in it is like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreos. And I could not agree more with that statement.

When I was growing up, I’ll admit that this was not the life I envisioned. In fact, I was pretty sure I didn’t want kids and didn’t much care if I got married. I wanted to get a good job and make a real difference in the world. I wanted to be a social worker or teacher and change lives. I wanted to write books and tell stories that would impact people. I wanted to make my dad proud of me and “make something of myself.” Which typically means getting a college degree and a good paying job (the good paying part I clearly didn’t care about, since I was studying education and social work, ha). I’m not sure where I got the idea in my head that I would be a failure if all I became was a mother and wife.

I know that’s not all I am – I’m definitely more than a mother and wife. But right now, it feels like those two roles are pretty much all that I am. And many days, it feels like the work goes unnoticed. I’m not doing anything extraordinary by taking care of my child or cleaning our home or making dinner for my husband. Those just come with the territory of being a mother and wife.

Oddly enough though, I’ve never had a more fulfilling job. I am doing the same mundane tasks day in and day out, watching the same nursery rhymes, and spending 75% of my time with a 1.5 year old who can’t string more than 2 words together at a time. And I LOVE it. I feel like there is nothing more important than being the best mom and wife I can be. There’s nothing ordinary, boring or shameful about being JUST a mom or wife. I don’t need to be publicly applauded or recognized for this job, because I can see that I am making a difference in my own home, where it really matters. It’s been an adjustment but I’m working on switching my focus from worrying about what others think to concerning myself first with the well-being of my family.

Do I plan to return to a full-time job someday and use my degree? Sure. That is the long-term plan once Spencer is in school. If it doesn’t happen though… I won’t feel like a failure. I already have a full-time job right here, and just because it only pays with poopy diapers, sloppy kisses, and salty tears, doesn’t make it any less valuable. My focus is not just on making a difference in the world… I want to make a difference where I’m at, to my world – my family.