Some people have one mom. The woman who birthed/adopted/raised them is their mom. Until I married my husband, my “mom” was non-existent. The word carried little to no meaning for me.
I was raised by my dad. He didn’t remarry until I was in my 20s and living 2.5 hours away. My stepmom is awesome and a fabulous wife for my dad and I love her dearly. She is Debbie to me though, not my parent. (A stepmom is a wonderful thing to have, and just because I don’t call her mom doesn’t mean she’s not my family.)
People told me to think of my grandma as my mom. She wasn’t though… she’s my grandma.
I never felt like I knew much about my actual mom until I was much older and finally had the courage to ask. Everything I knew about her was related to her illness and death. My dad never talked about her. We visited her grave for holidays but she wasn’t a real person to me. How could she be? I never knew her once I was old enough to have memories. She was a person who wiped my nose and held me as a toddler in the few home videos we had, and her face was in a handful of photos in our house. That was the extent of her existence to me.
Now that I’m married, I have a mom. She didn’t meet me until I was 23 years old, but she’s my mom. I call her by her first name, but she’s my mom. We share no DNA, but she’s my mom.
So let me tell you about my mom. She’s fiercely protective of her family. She puts her children and husband before herself on a daily basis. She is the most compassionate, selfless and generous person I know. She’s always willing to give people a chance, whether they deserve it or not. She is everything I want to be as a mother and wife.
She is an incredible gram-gram who happily steps in to take care of my child so I can work. She is the person I call or text when I’m upset and need my “person.” She is a voice of reason and always ready to offer helpful advice when we ask for it. She respects our marriage and our decisions and is the ideal mother-in-law.
She cried when we told her we were pregnant. She excitedly bought clothes, toys and furniture for our baby. She took me shopping for maternity clothes. She threw together the most fabulous baby shower for us. She paced between the hospital hallway and waiting room the whole time I was in labor. She drove me to my doctor’s appointments after my c-section. She brought us food and texted every day to see if we needed anything.
She is an encourager and cheerleader. She celebrates our successes and mourns our losses. She checks in regularly and is consistently interested in being part of our day to day life. She has opened her home to us and made it feel like our second home.
She is so much like her own mother, who we loved very very much. She has her eyes and her smile. She has her knack for staying out of pictures. She has the same sense of loyalty and family-first attitude that her mom had.
She is funny and kind. She is a friend and a parent. She is so many things that she doesn’t get enough credit for. She is my mom.
Kristen Stewart, Writer 