Finding myself. 

I don’t think I was fully prepared for parenthood (who really is?). I think part of me expected that life would go on as usual only now we’d have a little baby tagging along with us. 

I really didn’t realize how much things would change, or how quickly. 

One day, I was living this independent life, deciding when I wanted to do things and go places, having all this time to enjoy my favorite things. Going to the store wasn’t a hassle, going to restaurants was enjoyable. I loved reading books, watching movies… and ‘member crocheting? Oh, I ‘member. 

And literally overnight, my life changed. I left work one day, went to the hospital, and was handed an 8 pound infant the next afternoon.

As much as I loved (still love) being his mom, I kind of let my own identity get lost in the shuffle of raising a baby. Being his mom and caring for his needs consumed me and suddenly, every aspect of my life was centered around Spencer. I didn’t care about hanging out with people, or going places for “me” time, or doing fun things. I didn’t know how to just be myself anymore because I was in mommy mode full-time. I lost who I was as a daughter, a wife, a friend, an employee, a volunteer. 

Now that he’s older, I’m slowly finding myself again. I feel fulfilled by more than just my status as a mom, even though that “hat” is still my favorite one. I’m remembering things I enjoy and making time to do them. I’m trying new things. I’m realizing it’s ok to enjoy activities outside my home and away from my child.