1) Baby clothes . We got a lot of clothes at our baby showers, and I took all the tags off and washed them before he was born. Well, he was an exceptionally large newborn and didn’t fit in his newborn clothes, and only wore his 3 month clothes for a few weeks. Since a lot of the stuff we got was smaller, we ended up not having much that actually fit him. He was too chubby for pants that weren’t sweatpants, and that was kind of a bummer because he had a lot of cute outfits that he wasn’t going to be able to wear. 😜 since I had taken all the tags off, I couldn’t return or exchange. I ended up selling a bunch of the clothes on Facebook so I could go buy him clothes that fit. Lesson learned: leave the tags on the smaller stuff until you know what’s going to fit.
2) Baby gear. It’s hard to know ahead of time what you’ll actually use. We got the basics and then kind of got things as they were needed. Things we used a lot: his bouncer, stroller, the rocker/recliner and my yoga ball (for putting him to sleep), exersaucer and jumper, his bath seat, his high chair. Things we basically never used: pack and play, swaddles/sleep sacks, swing (used for a month or two), rock n play, a lot of toys, Bumbo Seat, the Ergo carrier.
3) People were (are) obsessed with my child’s sleeping habits. To this day, it’s one of the first questions people will ask. “How is he sleeping? Does he sleep all night yet?” It drove me absolutely nuts, but I stopped getting offended once I realized this is just a normal question people ask and it’s not meant as an insult. I just thought it was normal for young babies to wake up a lot to nurse, but the way people kept asking me about it made me have doubts. The other question that drove me crazy was “is he a good baby?” Like, what does that even mean? If a good baby is one who is always content and sleeps all night, then my baby is bad, I guess? I know that’s just another question people ask, but… I hate this question.
4) Going back to work wasn’t as awful as I expected. Granted, I was able to take extra time instead of going back at 8 weeks, and when I did start working again, it was only part-time. Still, it was hard for me to think about being away from Spencer for even a few hours, until I actually did it. He did fine, I did fine, he started accepting bottles from daddy, and I actually enjoyed having some time to be just me again.
5) Having a baby made me realize the difference between my friends and my acquaintances. My friends kept coming around and stayed in touch and offered to help and kept me involved with their lives as well. My acquaintances liked my Facebook pictures but not much beyond that. I found out I have many acquaintances and few friends. And just because someone is technically family, doesn’t mean they aren’t an acquaintance. I’m appreciative of being able to see people’s true colors.
6) I am more aware of my flaws now and I want to fix them. My son makes me want to be a better person and be a good example for him. Having him made me more aware when I was being sarcastic or cynical, or disrespectful, or biased about someone, or gossipy, or angry. If I’m raising him to be a decent human and a loving, compassionate Christian, there’s no place in my personal example to exhibit any of these characteristics.
7) I am more vigilant now with who I allow into our life. There are certain characteristics that I find extremely disheartening in others and having a child made me extra motivated to limit our interactions with those people. Namely, people who are mean and hateful, who regularly talk bad or gossip about people, who exhibit a holier-than-thou attitude, and who are radical in their political beliefs. That’s not to say we never interact with people who are like that, but that’s not the crowd I want to regularly surround my child with.
8) I learned a whole new type and depth of love. Seriously… I didn’t know that my heart was capable of this much love. I don’t even know how to put into words the love I have for him. From the moment I became his mommy, everything else melted away and things that used to matter didn’t matter anymore. He changed my whole perspective on life.
Kristen Stewart, Writer 