Lessons from the first year: nursing.

When I was pregnant, I made up my mind that I wanted to try to breastfeed when Spencer got here. No one was pressuring me to do it, in fact, most people I knew had formula fed. I had nothing at all against formula, but I liked that breastmilk was free and that it was full of antibodies and made especially for my baby. Plus it just sounded like a really special bonding experience. (And yes, there were times when we supplemented with formula because I couldn’t pump enough for him when I went to work – I have nothing against formula at all.)

I talked to my few breastfeeding friends about it ahead of time to gain some knowledge. One friend bought me a book about it. I went to a class at the hospital thinking they would teach, you know, how to do it, but the class ended up just being a long presentation of the benefits of breastmilk over formula. I settled for the fact that I would just have to learn on the job, so to speak. 

When he was born, I had an unplanned c-section, which can sometimes complicate nursing. I didn’t get to do the initial skin-to-skin and didn’t even get to hold him for 45 minutes. He was having issues with his blood sugar at first and they fed him a bottle after he was born. Luckily, none of these things prevented us from establishing a relatively easy, long and successful nursing relationship (still going on at 15 mo). So, here are a few things I learned (and I will preface this by saying that I know this isn’t everyone’s experience – but it was mine):

Newborn babies nurse A LOT. I came into this expecting a regular feeding schedule, maybe every few hours. I didn’t know what to expect. My baby nursed almost constantly, round the clock. He would nurse for a loooong time too… it was not at all uncommon for him to nurse for 30-45 minutes at a time. This lasted for at least the first 3-4 months. 

Nursing frequently helps your supply. Well, thank goodness. Got that down, no problem. Drinking tons of water also helps. 

Speaking of supply… in the early months, before you “regulate” to baby’s needs, let’s just say your whole existence will be drenched in milk. All of my shirts were soaked, nursing pads were a joke, and I was shocked at my… remarkable shooting distance. Oh, and just because Spencer was nursing on one side didn’t mean the other boob was going to sit there quietly. Towels or receiving blankets within arms reach were a MUST. 

It’s a relationship. Between two people. Spen made it pretty easy on me in that he was a great nurser from the get-go, but like any relationship, it takes time and patience to get to know each other and learn what works. I had to learn his cues, and his different cries, and how to hold him, and how to tell if he was latched right. It took time for us to trust each other and fall into a comfortable pattern.

Dad can’t breastfeed, but he can still help. Jordan was great at helping comfort him when I needed a little break, and making sure I was comfortable, and bringing me things when I was trapped under the baby for hours. He was my personal water boy, and supported me emotionally. 

Pacifier? LOL. The nurses gave Spen a soothie in the hospital, and he took it for the first 3-4 weeks. I don’t know what changed after the first month, but suddenly, the soothie was a hated enemy and I was the only pacifier he would take. I tried all different kinds. He just screamed and screamed until I nursed him. Same with swaddling, and the swing, and shushing, and whatever the other tried and true methods of soothing baby are. I thought mine must be broken, because he wasn’t even fussy, he was straight hysterical unless he got a boob. 

Cosleeping and night nursing worked for us. It was the only way either of us got any sleep. We did it as safely as possible and I would do it again with the next baby. It didn’t ruin him from being able to sleep in his crib later, in fact he transitioned pretty easily unless teething or sick. 

People have opinions about breastfeeding. People ask a lot of questions and make a lot of comments, and it took me a long time to not take it personally. Most of it stems from either wanting to help or just genuinely not understanding something, and it’s not because people are trying to be discouraging. But the questions and comments still usually made me feel like I was doing something wrong. “Why is he hungry again already?” “Do you think you should start giving him cereal in a bottle? It worked for me.” “Isn’t he sleeping through the night yet?” “Have you tried this kind of pacifier?” “Can he eat XXXX yet?” “Are you sure he’s getting enough milk?” 

It’s really convenient. On one hand, it could be very overwhelming to be the sole source of food for my baby until he finally allowed my husband to give him pumped milk around 5 or 6 months old. But overall, breastfeeding was so convenient. I never had to take a big diaper bag out, I could just keep a couple diapers and wipes in my purse and go. No washing bottles. No heating bottles. I could feed and comfort him anytime, anywhere. I really loved that. 

It helped me a lot also to surround myself with supportive friends and other people who were nursing. Talking to other nursing moms made me feel like I wasn’t crazy and I wasn’t alone. I’m thankful we made it this far. I’ve been bitten, smacked, and driven to tears more times than I can count, but I have loved being a nursing momma.