People come and go.

This week I was doing some spring cleaning, which included throwing out junk from the closet. I came across this ratty shoebox that I’ve carried around since childhood, which holds a lifetime of cards (birthday, get well, etc). 

I took the time to go through them. Some cards looked familiar… “oh! I remember grandma sent me this for my birthday.” Others… I genuinely couldn’t even remember who the sender was. Am I that old already? I’m 31 and don’t recognize people’s names? 

I don’t think I’m really old, but sometimes it feels like I’ve already done enough living to be “old.” And it’s really weird to think back on my past and realize how people just come and go.

I read an article this week about friendships and the writer remarked that God surrounds us with seasonal people, friends who will be there temporarily for certain periods of our life. Then we have some friends who are more permanent, and it will take intentionality, but those friendships are meant to last a lifetime. 

I would absolutely agree with this. It was so strange to sift through these cards, mostly from high school and my first few years of college, and realize how many of these people have zero connection to my life anymore. People who used to be my closest friends. People who I used to spend hours upon hours with, who I shared my deepest secrets with, and who I had very memorable times with. Once I moved away from Pekin, everything about my life changed and those friendships all but disappeared. 

Even after I moved, I’ve had friends come and go. Each period of my life… childhood… junior high… high school… community college… SIUE (undergrad and before I became a Christian)… SIUE grad school (post-becoming a Christian and dating my husband)… working at CYHS and the youth center… going to Calvary… moving to Missouri and changing jobs and churches… becoming a mother. Every one of these periods of life has had friendships and relationships that at the time, I felt like were forever, and now, I can barely remember. 

The ones who have stood the test of time – the very few people who have stuck around and make an effort to keep our friendship going – those people are my family. They are the ones who will weather every season and no matter where either of us goes in life, we will always be close. 

It used to really bother me that I had lost touch with so many people, or that so many people who I once felt so close to were now nothing more than acquaintances. I realize now that not every relationship is meant to be a permanent one, and that’s ok. 

I’m not the same person that I was in high school, or at ICC, or when I worked at PetSmart, or when I went to Calvary. And I would bet that most of the friends I had during those times have done some changing of their own. Life has a way of doing that, of changing us. Some people will stick around through the changes, and others weren’t meant to.